


Dead Devotion

by Roselina4389



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action & Romance, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roselina4389/pseuds/Roselina4389
Summary: Severus Snape and Lily Evans have finally graduated from Hogwarts, but nothing is the same. Lily is engaged to James Potter, while Severus is besotted with her. Meanwhile her polar-opposite sister, Petunia Evans, is starting to slowly fall for Severus Snape. Will her feelings ever amount to anything and will Severus ever love another? {Two-sided}
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Petunia Evans Dursley/Severus Snape
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	Dead Devotion

**Author's Note:**

> There are very few 'Sevtunia' stories out there! I wrote one years ago, in 2015, but when I re-read it, felt I was not doing the pair enough justice :). Here is my ardent rewriting of that story—a revamp of the original story. So, if you remember parts of Unspoken Wishes in this, this is simply a retelling of that story! I hope you enjoy this story, and start to ship the pairing too! :)

**PART ONE**

**Late June, 1978**

Petunia Evans was only nineteen and a half years old when an amazing series of events began to change her life in a way she had never considered possible. 

But before everything began to change wonderfully for her, one late summer afternoon, Petunia still had one chief grievance...her younger sister, Lily Evans.

Petunia shared a very complicated and delicate relationship with her sister. She could not remember ever not being under the younger woman’s shadow. Despite being older, Lily effortlessly outshone when it came to talents, looks or popularity. She was effortlessly charming, while Petunia, an ungainly and long-limbed teenager, struggled to replicate her sister’s poise and charisma. She was also magnetic and likeable, people gravitating towards her, her own parents doting on her and usually ignoring Petunia. Petunia’s few school friends could never compete with Lily’s entourage, not to mention the line of boys that seemed to follow her every move. She was the prettier sister, the smarter sister, the  _ superior  _ sister, and Petunia was lucky to have what she had, lest it too be taken away. 

It was like Lily always won, from the smallest game of cards, to the rather more daunting game of life. She seemed like she knew exactly what she was doing, where she was going, who she _ was.  _ Petunia hardly knew what she would have for supper that day, let alone what she wanted to do with her life. 

But, in the very end, it wasn't just the fact that Lily always got better grades, received more compliments, got engaged first (even though she was younger!) or was the gem of the family; It was the fact that Lily had once again got chosen by whatever power was above...and been granted the ability to do magic.

That, naturally, had been the final straw.

All her life Petunia had longed to be special, to be a witch just like her sister...even if she denied it passionately. And now, even as an adult, she still craved it. Craved it so desperately that it was like a deep ache in her chest. An ache that had never been quenched, no matter how many pretenses she put up, showing herself to be someone who hated anything magical or out of the ordinary.

All in all, it was painful and difficult to see the younger sister she had pushed on the swings, and held in her arms, and watched ladybugs in the garden with, grow up to be better than her, more loved than her, more talented than her, and then finally be more special than her in any way there could be...by being magical. And then expect her to cope with it just as you had coped with her other superior capabilities.

This dynamic had just about ruined her entire life. She was insecure and self-conscious, and often in a surly mood. The days crawled by, monotonous and grey, and when summer finally crept around in Cokeworth, Petunia figured it would be just as routine as the previous one...long, lazy days that stretched on forever and Lily home for the holidays. 

Petunia did not think things would ever change, not any time soon, and felt too far behind to even consider catching up to Lily...Until one warm summer afternoon in late June, when everything seemed to change for her. 

XXX

Severus Snape pulled on one boot, and then the other, making quick work of the worn-out laces until they were tied into a tight knot. He glanced at the large conjured mirror on the wall, his eyes roaming over his dark outdoor jacket, and dark trousers, and neatly buttoned grey shirt. He had to look perfect today. Ever since he had graduated from Hogwarts several days ago, he had been concocting a plan in his head—he had to win Lily back.

They had barely spoken since fifth year, and even their glances across the classroom and school hallways had eventually grown increasingly infrequent. But what Severus was sure of now, was that, with school over and done with, there would be no more Potter or his other cronies to cause a distraction, and prevent her from being all-ears. He would go to her house in Cokeworth, talk to her, clear things out, and they would finally be on good terms again. He craved the closure—she hadn’t left his mind since they had stopped speaking two years ago. 

He firmly believed she would have mellowed down by now...She was supposed to be the kindest person he had ever met, and although assertive, forgiving and understanding.

She had given him the silent treatment many times in the past, but not one this long...He could remember her derisive looks after an argument, the fierce and unrelenting pace of her arguments, her ignoring his glances at her when they passed each other in school corridors.

But it didn’t matter. They were graduated now, ready to make a name for themselves in the wizarding world. She would forgive him and let bygones be bygones.

_ She’s Lily. She’s got to. _

Severus stood up from his bed, and ventured out into the living-room of his flat, his boots clicking solidly on the floor. He had really won the lottery with this flat. Although small and poky, it was  _ his  _ and seemed a good step in the right direction in his quest for independence. It didn’t hurt that he had finally moved out from his house in Spinner’s End, away from his boorish Muggle father who he had never gotten along with. Spinner’s End was so distinctly unmagical, home to labourers and working-class men with their working-class families. When Severus had shown proclivity for books and reading, rather than work and labour, his father had only been disdainful. And as he had grown taller, and older, and increasingly hot-tempered, he had often got into loud and heated arguments with the older man. 

He was very lucky he had befriended and impressed Lucius Malfoy.

The rich, blonde young man had been very generous on Severus’s eighteenth birthday. He had always held Severus in high regard. Severus could remember  _ worshipping  _ the man in his youth, trailing after him as a youngster. Malfoy had taken pity on his halfblood status, and second-hand school books, and shabby robes. He had most pitied the fact that he lived in a small, inconspicuous Muggle house with his magic-hating, aggressive Muggle father. And so, in a stroke of beneficiary Severus wondered how he would ever pay back, Lucius Malfoy had deposited a hefty sum of money into his rather empty bank account earlier that year.

“You can finally move out,” Malfoy had suggested in his letter. “However you spend it, make sure you spend it wisely,” 

Severus did not need to be told twice. He had not touched a galleon for months, and then, when he could, had moved out of his house in Spinner’s End, taking all of his scarce belongings with him, and rented out a flat close to Cokeworth, not wanting to be too distant from Lily. 

It was nothing spectacular. It was rather bare and drab, but Severus knew that it was better than nothing. He had a bed, and a stovetop, and a threadbare couch, as well as enough room to store his books and quills. He spent his free time poring over notes and looking for job positions, ways to integrate himself in the magical world. He had felt like an outcast for most of his life, shunned and underestimated. He knew that the first step to making a name for himself was getting independent, and as far away from his past as possible. 

Yet, he thought, as he opened the door to his flat, he was returning to his past right this moment...Lily was his past, but he wanted her to be his future. His  _ present _ . He steeled himself for what he was about to do. Once he reached her house and talked it out with her, she would finally be his again and things would go back to normal. 

XXX

Petunia flipped her long, blonde braid over her shoulder as she rummaged through the kitchen cupboards for the coffee mix. She cringed as loud sounds of laughter and chatter emanated from the living-room. 

_ Bloody Potter. Can’t he keep his big mouth shut for once? _

Lily was home for the summer. She had finally graduated from her school and was now looking forward to spending some time with her family (much to the joy of their parents, of course), before she got married to her boyfriend and moved out for good. Petunia had been worried about the extended amount of time she would have to spend with her sister, now that she wasn't going back to that school again, but she suspected that Lily would be leaving soon anyhow. She was, as previously mentioned, engaged. Her fiance’ was a dark, untidy haired man that Petunia couldn’t help hating with a passion. Arrogant, loud, rude, and deeply in love with her sister, James Potter was the definition of a prat. 

Much to Petunia’s chagrin, Lily often had him over for dinners and short visits, and when their parents weren’t home, for longer ones. She had been doing so since last summer. Petunia didn’t like him, but Lily had been swept off her feet. Petunia’s heart often twinged in envy when she caught the pair of them kissing in the garden, or holding hands under the dinner table. When would  _ she  _ find the love of her life? She was older! Petunia had  _ known _ that Lily would have found suitors the moment she set foot into her stupid school, but it was more than a little overdue for her!

This particular afternoon, her parents were out on an errand. Lily and Potter were lounging together in the living-room, laughing and talking loudly. Petunia began to mix her coffee mixture in resentment, the liquid slopping over to one side of the cup. She felt prickly and irritated, and wished they would button up. 

“So, are there actual people trapped in there, or what?”

“James!” Lily exploded into laughter. “The telly doesn’t work like that!”

“Yeah, well, give me a break,” James laughed. “It’s hard to keep up with all this Muggle stuff!”

Petunia scoffed. How daft. He didn’t even know what television was! What an  _ idiot _ . 

“How about dinner tomorrow night?” Potter asked hopefully. 

“I’d love to, but I’ll have to ask mum and dad first. They’re rather overprotective, y’know. But since last year, they’ve really relaxed,”

“Does your mum like me?”

“I reckon she does,”

Petunia rolled her eyes, still stirring. Lily wasn’t entirely incorrect. Their parents  _ had  _ liked Potter, especially impressed by his money and good manners. But Petunia did not get along with him, and she knew he regarded her with disdain, their conversations lukewarm. 

The chatter continued, and Petunia was just about to head towards the fridge to look for some leftover sandwiches, when just then there was the sound of the doorbell.

Petunia poked her head out of the kitchen, but Lily had already jumped off the couch and was now heading towards the door. 

“I’ll get it!” She called out cheerfully, ever the helpful sister. 

xxx

Lily Evans loved having James over, and had been enjoying their time together, sitting on the sofa and eating crisps. They had been dating since seventh year, and had been friends since sixth–Lily even inviting him over last summer. James had just been suggesting places for them to go together for dinner, when the doorbell had interrupted their conversation. Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, she had stood up from the sofa and made her way towards the door, and was now swinging it open, peering outside pleasantly, 

“Yes?” 

Lily suddenly froze, her face paling. For a few moments, there was only silence as her eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

There, standing on her doorstep and looking very nervously at her, was Severus Snape!

"Severus? What are  _ you _ doing here?" Lily’s voice was a harsh whisper when she finally recovered.

Severus was laughing shakily as he ran a hand through his hair. "Er, Lily. Hi." He said. "Can we talk?" He sounded calm, but his eyes were pleading.

"No, we cannot! Go away!" Lily held the door between them, looking suspicious and horrified. What was he doing here? They hadn't spoken in ages!

She suddenly felt the blood leave her face, her body freezing and her jaw slackening in shock. For a few moments, there was only silence as her eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

There, standing on her doorstep and looking very nervously at her, was Severus Snape!

Snape looked incredibly nervous, running a hand through his hair as he laughed shakily. “Lily. Er, hi,” He swallowed. “...Can we talk?” Although his voice was forcibly calm, his eyes were pleading. 

“No, we can’t!” Lily said immediately, holding the door between them, looking quite horrified. What was he  _ doing  _ here? They hadn’t spoken in ages! “You need to leave before—”

“I’m not leaving,” He said immediately, a little insistently.

“Severus, you’re not welcome here,” She said more persistently. 

“Lily, just hear me out,”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you. You shouldn't even  _ be  _ here.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not friends anymore! And I’m  _ not  _ interested in speaking to you again. We’ve gone through this. Look, you don’t understand. You really need to leave,” If James saw him, it would be a disaster, and vice versa.

“Merlin, you’ve got to let me have my say first!” Severus said angrily. “I’ve been thinking this over for months.” 

XXX

“Who is it?” Petunia called, angling her head and trying to see who it was. She was very confused when she saw a tall, young man standing at their doorstep, and curiously went closer, keeping herself hidden from view all the while. 

Petunia couldn't hear very well yet. She tried to find a closer spot behind a tall houseplant. Then she stared hard at the young man. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she had definitely seen him before somewhere. But where? The thought was bothering her.

He was tall and lanky, dressed in a dark jacket, his boots and trousers a similar shade of black. He had long, dark hair and a deep and suave voice, his brows knitted in frustration as he and Lily argued. Petunia stared and stared, her expression blank, and her heart skipping a beat.  _ Have I seen him before? It seems like I should know who he is… _

"Who is it, Lily?" James asked, all of a sudden. He walked over to the two of them curiously, and then stopped short when he saw who was outside.

At the sight of him, Snape went absolutely white. “What is  _ he  _ doing here?” He blurted out angrily, before he could stop himself.

“Excuse me?” Lily was indignant. “What is that supposed to mean, Severus? He’s my boyfriend!” 

Petunia felt like she had been hit in the stomach with a club. Of course. She  _ did _ know him after all; he was that...he was that Snape boy!

She blinked, then flushed. He wasn't a boy at all anymore. He was rather tall, with long legs and heavy boots. His angular face even held a little bit of stubble, which was actually rather...endearing. His gaze was intense and he held an air of loping confidence he had never had before. And his voice was much deeper and...and he had just changed so much! Petunia couldn't believe just how much—it was shocking to see the little boy she had insulted and ridiculed mercilessly look so old and mature. He was actually almost attractive.

She suddenly gagged. He was a freak and she used to hate him! How could she think such thoughts? It was disgusting! She shook herself. She was obviously very tired and needed some rest.

Besides, no wonder she was a little shocked! Ever since Lily had broken her friendship with Snape, Petunia had never seen him again and had eventually forgotten all about him. In fact, she had stopped seeing him after he was about thirteen or fourteen, as she had kept herself further and further away from her sister and he had started to visit the house less often. It was startling to see him now, and she suddenly realized that she had often occasionally wondered how he was faring, but had then quickly pushed those thoughts aside.

James was still looking shocked but Lily's comment seemed to rouse him. "What do you think you're doing here,  _ Snivellus _ ?" He growled, sneering.

Snape's hands were clenched into fists. "I need to talk to Lily. Alone."

"Well,  _ I  _ don't want to talk, Severus," Lily hissed, almost pleadingly. "I just want you to leave,"

"But—”

"Well, what did you think, Snivellus?" James demanded, sneering even more now. "That you'd come running back here for forgiveness and she'd welcome you back with open arms? Well, think again. We all know how evil and twisted you are, and even worse, you're a  _ Death Eater.  _ Are your psycho friends around the corner, ready to ambush us or what?"

"You–you shut your mouth," Snape growled, scarlet, his fists clenching even tighter. He was clearly growing angrier and angrier. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. They say the truth hurts, though," 

"James," Lily said rebukingly. "That’s enough,"

But Potter was on a roll. "Anyway, Snivelly, you're too late. Lily and I are dating now, in case your thick skull couldn't comprehend it, while  _ you're _ still fantasizing about the day she'll come running back to you. In fact, forget dating, we're  _ engaged _ . Expect a wedding date any time soon."

And that was seemingly about the limit of Snape's tolerance.

"Bloody  _ bastard- _ " Snape came forward in a blur, raised his fist and– _ thwack _ –punched James hard across the face. James stumbled as Lily shrieked and Petunia gasped loudly. But he managed to regain his balance awkwardly and aim a punch back at Snape.

Snape stumbled too, then. He turned around, absolutely furious, and raised his fist again.

"No!" Lily grabbed hold of his arm. "Stop it, stop!"

James wiped his mouth, shaken up. "What? Unable to handle reality any longer, Snivellus?"

Petunia saw Snape wrench himself away from Lily's hold and glare hard at Potter. He stared at him hatefully for a few ferocious moments, then turned around. He walked off the doorstep, down the street, and out of sight, leaving a shocked and startled silence in his wake.

XXX

Petunia finally allowed herself to come into view. Her heart was pounding. She felt rather shaken up by what had happened. She couldn’t get Snape’s earnest, then furious face out of her mind. 

Lily was sitting on the couch, defeated, her head in her hands. James was still muttering foul names for Snape.

"How  _ dare _ he try to hit me! What the ruddy hell is his problem? Why did he come here anyway?"

"I don't know, I don't know. I don't know what he wanted. We stopped being friends, but he always tried to fix things even though I told him I wanted nothing to do with him, a Death Eater!”

“A future one, at least, if not one already,” Potter said confidently. 

Lily only sniffed. 

"Let's just forget about it," Potter let out a deep sigh, "He’s a maniac. You need to relax, Lil. It’s just Snape. You should be used to his antics by now,” 

Lily didn't reply, but Petunia did.

"Why do you guys seem to hate him so much?" 

James looked slightly annoyed by the sight of her but she ignored him. Lily bristled.

"Oh, no reason, Petunia, except for the fact that he called me a Mudblood!"

"...But he wanted to talk,"

"Would  _ you _ try talking to someone like that, Petunia? He called me an awful name in front of a whole group of people! You have no idea what he's done, what he is!"

"He didn’t seem all that dangerous to  _ me _ ," Petunia had no idea what she was saying or what exactly she was trying to do.

"Why are you defending him?" Lily's eyes were slits. "Don't you hate him? Didn't you used to call him a freak? What's changed now?"

Petunia flushed. "I just wanted to know—” 

"Look, Evans, you haven't spent seven years in school with him, have you?" James piped in.

"No, but—”

"Then you have no idea," he said dramatically.

Petunia scowled, turned on her heel, and left the room. She knew she would get no more answers from them. 

XXX

But oh, how she still wanted some. It was now several days later and she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened a few days ago. Couldn't stop thinking about Snape.

And that was crazy, because when she had been younger, she had absolutely hated Snape. She had always mocked him and insulted him, taunting his clothes and even where he lived. 

But now, she couldn't seem to get him out of her mind. The entire scenario kept replaying in her head. She couldn't stop marvelling at how much Snape had changed. She scowled. She had to get over it already. What was  _ wrong _ with her? Since when did she care about  _ him? _

Eventually, Petunia grew bored and wandered out of her room. She definitely needed the fresh air. 

She strolled carelessly down the stairs and grabbed a piece of toast from the kitchen on her way. Without really thinking, she opened the front door and left the house. 

Petunia walked down the street, nibbling on the toast and enjoying the fresh summer air. She had only been walking for ten minutes when she suddenly caught sight of the playground in the distance…

She felt a jolt go through her. She didn’t think she had been there, or even noticed it, for years. It was such a callback seeing the old rusty gates, and she neared them almost unconsciously. 

She opened them slowly, a fresh wave of nostalgia hitting her as she took in the overgrown, green grass, the old, rusting swings set standing untouched, and the weeds and daisies growing in random patches all over. It was almost always abandoned, and had been one of her childhood self’s favourite places to go to...until...She shook her head, trying to dispel the thought. Things really did seem to be coming back all of a sudden… 

Petunia stepped into the grass and walked further and further inside. It was just as deserted as it used to be. It felt absolutely riveting revisiting it again. 

The air was warm and clear. She breathed it in, enjoying the moment. She could remember the long hours she had spent trying to beat Lily on the swings. It seemed so long ago now. She suddenly faltered, squinting at something in the distance. 

There, sitting under a tree, was somebody reading a book, looking very, very bad-tempered.

Petunia went closer, curious. And then she stopped short. Her toast slipped from her limp fingers and fell to the grass.

Snape. 

XXX

Snape was dressed in a shabby coat, looking very unapproachable and cross as he read his book, his long legs spread out on the grass. He did not see her. 

Petunia struggled to find her voice. Her heart was drumming deafeningly against her chest. She could not, for the life of her, understand why she was so nervous. When she finally mustered up some courage, she cleared her throat nervously.

This caused Snape's head to shoot upwards, and he blinked at her confusedly. 

Now closer to him, Petunia could see that he still had the endearing bit of stubble along his sharp jaw, his cheekbones smattered with colour. She could not reconcile this strikingly different and more mature image of Snape with the old one she had had in her head, of a scowling face and overlong hair. Meeting him again like this after years, in a similar way to when they had first met, seemed to her almost like a second chance. 

Petunia's heart thudded in her chest as she spoke, "H-hullo. I was wondering about what that fiasco was that happened between you and Lily a few days ago..."

Snape didn't respond at first. He stared at her, evidently confused and rather startled. Then comprehension dawned on his features.

"Oh," he said, after what she felt was an eternity. "You're that Evans girl, aren't you? Lily's sister?" He blinked. "I haven't seen  _ you _ in a while."

Petunia felt surprisingly hurt that he had forgotten her, even briefly. She scowled, some of her confidence back, and folded her arms across her chest. "Forgotten all about me, have you,  _ Snape _ ?"

Snape's eyes narrowed. "What do you want,  _ Muggle _ ?"

"I thought I just asked you a question."

Snape scowled at her. "Still as nosy as you used to be, aren't you? Mind your own business,” 

Petunia bristled, "I have a right to know what happened! She's my sister, you know!"

Snape snorted. "I thought you hated her,"

"Just answer my question!" Petunia was starting to feel rather humiliated and angry.

He suddenly shot to his feet. Petunia backed away in surprise.

"I came to try and talk to her, but it didn't work out. Then I got into a fight with Potter, and left. That's all." He was jamming his book into his jacket pocket, making to leave. "Satisfied?"

"Why's she mad at you?" Petunia couldn't help asking.

Snape's jaw clenched. "Leave. Me. Alone." His voice was harsh and deadly.

Taken aback, Petunia's only defense was to be spiteful. "Why don't you make me?" her pale eyes—so different from Snape's dark ones—narrowed.

She suddenly felt a thrill of fear. Snape had left school and was allowed to do magic now, as Lily was. She didn't want to be turned into a teacup or something worse!

But Snape only shot her a very dirty look, turned on his heel, and stormed out of the playground. Petunia huffed and left too, feeling extremely disappointed and bitter.

XXX

Petunia returned to the Playground the very next day. She had no clear reason why. Maybe she wanted to show Snape that she wasn't scared of him. She also wanted to see him again. Why she did, was a mystery, even to her.

_ It’s not a crime to visit a playground...doesn’t belong to him, does it? I could be going there for a stroll or something.  _

The first time she went, he was not there. The second time she went–without much hope–she saw him sitting on one of the swings, reading the same book. He had looked up, glared at her hatefully, then jumped off the swing and left.

Offended, Petunia had left too. She was done with him, that was for sure!

A few days later, she went again. Just to annoy him, of course. No other reason.

She made a game out of it; whenever she went (which was often) the two of them would seek each other out, glare at each other, and then keep out of each other's way to the best of their abilities. Petunia always pretended she came to meet someone or pick flowers. She hoped she was convincing enough. She longed for him to speak to her again, say anything, but he was giving her the silent treatment and the casual disdain in his eyes made her flush. She knew she ought to avoid him, pretend he didn’t exist again, but no matter what she told herself, the urge to catch another glimpse grew stronger. And this urge and fascination seemed to grow every time she saw him. 

She had no idea what she was doing, and she knew that it was ridiculous, but Petunia couldn't deny the feeling of...of...what exactly? She didn't really like Snape, did she? It was all very strange but it was a pastime, she supposed.

However, she decided not to go today. Not that she could, anyhow. Mum had asked her to help her prepare tonight’s dinner, and she had no way out.

But why, besides the annoyance of having to work, was she so disappointed? She definitely needed to sort out her thoughts...

XXX

Severus narrowed his eyes as he stared around the playground thrice, making sure that Evans was not there.

When he was sure that she was nowhere to be seen, he rested his elbows against the rusty gates and wondered  _ why _ she wasn't there.

The girl came almost every single day. She didn't really seem to have any errands or any specific purpose. It was almost like she came to see...him.

But why would she? They had never gotten along, and she had always seemed to loathe him…

Discomfited, Severus stared up at the darkening sky. There was a deep ache in his chest as he thought of Lily and he took a deep breath. He had no purpose to life as of yet. He felt lost and directionless, absolutely clueless about what he ought to do next. Lily was never going to be his and he didn't want anyone else.

What was he going to do?


End file.
